Editor Sleepy Fox
The Right Way to Offer a Sacrifice to the River God – Chapter 2 – (Title was unobtainable)
That night, Bai Chuan was once again beaten up by Liu Qi as they got ready for bed.
Why? Because he secretly touched Liu Qi’s butt. Afterwards, he even sought death, giving it a rub.
Liu Qi forced Bai Chuan’s head down and positioned him across his lap, ‘pa pa’ slapped his butt a few times. After beating, his tone was fierce as he asked, “Still dare to touch next time?” (so there’s a next time?)
Bai Chuan’s crying was heart-rending as he lamented, “Aren’t we married? Why am I not allowed to consummate the marriage?”
Liu Qi’s face turned a little red and answered, “I don’t like men.”
“I don’t like too,” Bai Chuan’s crying face retorted.
“Then what are you still touching for?!”
“We still have to consummate the marriage sooner or later ah. Even if I don’t like, I still need to make do. Do you expect me to rub it myself forever?” Bai Chuan felt that he had been wronged to no end.
“Sure, just rub,” was Liu Qi’s heartless reply.
Bai Chuan fell onto the bed, paralyzed, his expression seemed like if there was no one to love in his life, then there would be no point in living. “I don’t want to be alive anymore.”
“Oh.” Liu Qi’s reply was still cold as ice.
Bai Chuan gulped down his saliva and haggled, “But if you bake two pieces of meat patty for me, maybe I can still live for a few more days.”
Liu Qi covered the blanket over himself and prepared to sleep. “Not baking.”
Bai Chuan was relentless and pressed down Liu Qi’s body as he curried favor with him. “Then you can just fry a few sunny side up eggs, I can sustain myself until breakfast tomorrow.”
Liu Qi, with a sincere look, “Just go die.”
The hungry and gluttonous River God Daren strolled into the kitchen in indignation, his hungry pair of eyes shining brightly. He flipped through every cabinet within the four walls, and only managed to find a few mantous with difficulty. Scouring around one more time, he found a jar of chili sauce, and happily dipped the mantou in it to enjoy.
Liu Qi’s handmade chili sauce was particularly delicious. The moment he started, he just couldn’t stop.
It would be infinitely better if there were some freshly baked meat patties, was what the River God Daren sourly thought, as he vigorously irrigated his mouth by drinking cold water. The newly married wife completely didn’t love him at all.
In the morning, Liu Qi was horrified to find that the whole jar of chili sauce he had saved and kept in the kitchen cabinets was all gone.
Bai Chuan, in the meantime, just came out from the toilet holding his stomach and spoke to himself with a look of suffering, “Hiss… So painful so painful. It was spicy when it went into my stomach, but coming out it’s even spicier.”
Seeing him in this state, Liu Qi pointed at the empty jar, “You secretly ate it?”
Bai Chuan righteously criticized Liu Qi, “I am still a River God, why would I steal a commoners chili sauce to eat? Don’t slander me.”
Liu Qi then quietly said, “Did I say that this was originally used to keep chili sauce?”
Bai Chuan immediately ran towards the door with a guilty conscience.
Liu Qi hauled him back by the collar with a hand, his tone menacing, “Want to run?”
Bai Chuan’s feet were twisting about in midair. “You’re not allowed to beat me again, it’s a great disrespect. In any case, I am still a dragon. I can go to heaven and lodge a complaint…”
Liu Qi found it funny and laughed, “Still want to complain? You don’t mind losing face?”
(For some reason) Bai Chuan was moved as his eyes were brimming with tears, “Mind.”
After dragging him by the collar back into the house, Liu Qi pushed him onto the bed, “Lie down properly.” (waku waku)
Bai Chuan let out a pleased expression. “In broad daylight, you say you… Hehehe… Oh right, I want to be on top, otherwise, you might get burned.”  (OvO)
Liu Qi’s emotions were complicated. Raising a hand, he gave an affectionate knock on the river gods head, “Top my ass (yes pls), I’m going to help you rub your tummy.”
Bai Chuan responded with a disappointed “Oh.” (+1)
Liu Qi’s hands lightly covered Bai Chuan’s stomach and started massaging it. After rubbing a few times, ‘gulu gulu’ sounds could be heard from inside. Bai Chuan’s ears and complexion flushed in embarrassment, before he pushed Liu Qi’s hands away, “I still need to go to the toilet.”
Liu Qi was undisturbed and stepped away, “Just let it out and everything will be fine.”
“What let it out, how vulgar.”
Because he ate too much spicy food, Bai Chuan could only survive on eating plain porridge and light side dishes as he suffered from a bad stomach.
He bit on the tips of his chopsticks, watching Liu Qi chewing his chicken drumsticks in jealousy. He didn’t even notice that his saliva was dripping onto his clothes.
Liu Qi glared at him in resentment for not meeting living up to his image as a river god, “Look at you behaving like a child.”
Bai Chuan’s cries sounded like a bird as he complained, “I’ve already eaten three days of light food.”
Liu Qi only broke off a chicken wing in retaliation. “Who let your stomach be so weak?”
The grieving Bai Chuan was now inconsolable, and the moment he ran out of the house, he went up into the skies.
Liu Qi who was watching the little white dragon was conflicted, but in the end, he dragged his feet and chased after him.
Bai Chuan had been maintaining his dragon form for a while, and his magic was going to run out soon. Seeing that the surrounding area was filled with wilderness and absent of people, he descended.
Liu Qi did not manage to catch up to him. Bai Chuan carefully took out a small pearl from the close-fitting parcel that he had kept on him, then feeling like the young students from private schools who had just ended classes, that delightful feeling and skipped away to buy some roasted chicken.
The lady boss who sold roasted chicken giddily sized up Bai Chuan before she remarked, “What does this little brother want to order?”
The child-like adult who was practically drooling in front of the stall, ordered, “I want a roasted chicken, then pack separately two chicken drumsticks. It needs to be the ones with a lot of fat.”
While using oil paper to wrap up his food, the lady boss asked, “I haven’t seen little brother’s face before, you’re probably not from our village ba?”
Bai Chuan was immersed in the fragrance of the chicken drumstick and could not pull away, thus he unconsciously answered, “I’m the River God.”
The lady boss: …
Finishing his purchase, Bai Chuan excitedly opened up the oil paper. Just as his lips were about to touch the oily skin of the chicken drumstick, it got snatched away from him with a ‘swoosh’.
Right then, a panting Liu Qi showed up in front of him, “I chased you until… I’m almost out of breath… Eating one bite less… Will it kill you?”
Bai Chuan was on the verge of tears, licking at the oil on his lips, “So fragrant.”
Liu Qi: …
Bai Chuan walked back in the direction of their home dispiritedly, his whole person the epitome of the word ‘Sadness’.
Liu Qi couldn’t watch on anymore, and gasped a breath of cold air as he handed over a chicken drumstick, “Just eat.”
Bai Chuan flattened his lips and rejected him, “Not eating. I am still a River God, must have a backbone.”
Liu Qi solemnly decided not to waste his words. Instead, he directly stuck the chicken drumstick in the direction of Bai Chuan’s mouth.
At a speed where the sound of lightning hadn’t even reached one’s ears, Bai Chuan lowered his head and his mouth only went ‘Au’. Even the chicken bone was broken off. (our mighty shou hand feeding our [not so] little gong :D)
“Where’s your backbone?” Liu Qi teased.
Bai Chuan said nothing, his mouth busy chewing on his large bite of chicken.
Liu Qi pat his head in resignation and sighed, “If your stomach completely doesn’t hurt anymore tomorrow, I’ll make you a table full of good food.”
Bai Chuan cutely used his head to nudge Liu Qi’s hand and agreed eagerly.
The next morning, Bai Chuan contentedly ate a feast.
Having not eaten a proper meal in a few days, Bai Chuan’s current mood was very good. His pair of peach blossom eyes curved upwards in bliss, his cheeks were full to the point of bursting and his mouth covered in oil.
Liu Qi, on the other hand, had already finished eating long ago. He sat by the table just watching Bai Chuan eat.
“So delicious, really very delicious,” Bai Chuan looked at him with a heart full of gratitude.
Liu Qi only picked a piece of rib with his chopstick and gave it to him. “Eat this piece, there’s a lot of meat.”
“A wife like you is great,” Bai Chuan sincerely praised.
Liu Qi stared at him for a while, before giving out a ‘pu’ in laughter. He reached out to pinch the bulging sack of Bai Chuan’s face, “It’s fine as long as you know I’m great.”
“En,” he vigorously nodded.
However, Liu Qi was still silent for a moment before he suddenly asked, “Do you still want another bride?”
Bai Chuan used great force to shake his head. “Don’t want don’t want, I can’t finish the food two wives will make for me.”
Liu Qi was stunned for a while before he convulsed in laughter, “You only know how to eat!”
After Bai Chuan had finished eating, Liu Qi cleared the table of oily plates and bowls and put them in a large basin. He placed it next to the well before beckoning Bai Chuan over, “Come wash.”
Bai Chuan waved his hand and a gush of water rushed out from the well and into the sky. Afterwards, the water dragon-shaped stream of water poured into the large basin and started rolling about as if it had a life of its own, washing down the dirt and grime on the plates and bowls. Bai Chuan stood by the side and watched, occasionally wiggling his fingers to direct the water flow.
Liu Qi was already jaded to strange sights, thus he only brought out another pail of dirty clothes and leaving them by the side, “Wash these too.”
Bai Chuan only sighed virtuously, then brought out another portion of water to wash the clothes.
“Also, make sure the floor is clean.”
Liu Qi yawned and went to bed to take a nap.
Author has something to say:
Foodie’s heart is tired… _(:з」∠)_
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